Long time no cry

I met with my psychologist today because I wanted to him to write me a note sop I can show my academic counselor that I have been seeking help with my stress problem. The session went fine until he asked me about how my parents have acting regarding my academics.

Don't get me wrong. My parents are great. They have been very supportive and not pressuring at all. They always tell me that it's ok, that I will do better. But for same reason, thinking about them made me cry.

I have no idea why I cried at all. And couldn't stop myself at all. The counselor asked me why I cried. After calming down and thinking a bit, I realized why I cried. I felt like I was letting my parents down. I keep beating myself up because they don't punish me for getting bad grades. In fact, they kept being nice to me and buying me stuff. It makes me feel bad and want bad things to happen to me. I never realized that I feel that way about myself.

So long story short. My counselor now thinks I am also emotionally distressed. I wonder how my mental health got so screwed up...

Feeling a tinsy bit better

I went to my academic counseling office today to make an appointment. My legs felt like lead every step I took there. I was so freaked out.

It turned out the office doesn't take same day appointments. But the girl working at the counter saw how worried I was and gave me a small counseling sessions. She said that my overall grades are still ok and that I had a legit medical reason for not doing well. Also, from past cases she has seen. Students like me usually turns our ok.

Although she was just a student, it made me feel a lot better hearing that from her because by working there, she should be pretty knowledgeable about this stuff.

Right?

Grades

Sigh....

How the hell do I allow my grades to get so low? Last quarter I was qualified for academic disqualification and I had to pick up my grades this quarter. Yet I screwed up again.

I guess the bad grades from the previous quarter really screwed me over. I was sleepless and sick the whole quarter. I went to the school doctors and they referee me to a psych counselor but they couldn't figure out what was wrong. Finally, my family doctor diagnosed me with an anxiety disorder. Now I have to take pills to sleep. Sigh....

I have to go see the counselor on Monday and hope they will give me another chance. Wish me luck.

Ameba Pico

It's been so long since I have blogged. Lol! How fast 2 years can pass us by. I am now 21. So much have happened but I won't spend time with catching up. Instead, I wanna share with everyone my recent obsession- Ameba Pico!

Let's start with a little bit of background. Ameba Pico first started I'm Japan under a different name- Ameba Pigg. Basically, it is a website where people can make their own characters and interact with each other.

Although Ameba Pico is an American site, there are still many players from all over world. So depending on the timezone, you can meet many foreigners. I myself love to practice my Japanese with the Japanese players. Even though my Japanese isn't that great, the japanese players were very nice and very patient with me. My buddy list is filled with players from all over the world!

If you have free time and want to make friends online, Ameba Pico is definitely the place to be. I'm usually online around night time and you can find me under the name of Lydie. Hope to see you soon!